My Paper On Covey's 7 Habits
Here is a paper I wrote back when I was still in school. My professor was impressed with Stephen Covey's "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People," and asked us to read and write a paper on it for extra credit. Since this was my first Sadistics, I mean Statistics class, I needed all the help I could get.
And around the same time I was taking my NLP Practitioner training, so I integrated some of those principles into my paper. I was hoping for more extra credit since I was showing off. But as it happened, he didn't even read the papers. If we turned something in, we got the extra credit. Well I wasn't going to complain; every point was a godsend.
So I decided to share it here, a decade later. Enjoy!
P.S. Oh and short paragraphs and breaks in between were a foreign concept to me at the time.
"The Integration of the Seven Habits Of Highly Effective People"
I began to read this book in a manner that is still rather new to me. A book does not simply contain a collection of ideas put into words, but rather serves as a reflection of the author's character, perspective, and efforts. There is no such thing as a mere book, whether it be fiction or non-fiction; a book gives us a brief look into another man's vision and the rest is up to us; there is no doubt that any person will end a book with more than he began with, but the question is to what extent. Stephen Covey reviewed the success literature from the past 200 years, and ended up with far more than he began with, and the fruits of his labor are documented in his best seller The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People. Covey broke all his work down in to two main parts, private victory and public victory, which takes an individual through the three states of the evolution process: dependency, independency, and interdependency. The reason this is a process is because one cannot just leap into one of these states, instead he must work through each state, until, not only is he ready to move on, but also has reached a threshold point where remaining in that state does more harm than not. Also working through the states builds needed momentum, which enables one to proceed through the process. For example one cannot reach financial independence, before having understood the dependence of a source of income, and cannot move beyond that point, until he understands that independence alone, only results in isolation, and to gain freedom from that he must reach the state of interdependence, where he is interacting with everyone at all levels, from depending on to being dependent upon; this is the nature of interdependence. Amazingly enough the book actually helps you change as you read along, and it also helps you envision the possible outcomes that might result from the chapters to follow.
As I began to read habit one: Be Proactive, I thought to myself, "what does that mean to me? Am I proactive? How exactly do I define and measure that?" After asking myself a few questions I read the chapter. Surprisingly enough, I ended the chapter with more questions than I began with, and from that moment I knew that this book was not going to give me the answers to my questions, but rather help me discover the appropriate questions to ask, to which I would have to come up with the answers myself. I began to understand that any train you jump onto will get you away from here, if that is all you want, but to really get somewhere you have to decide where you want to go, plan on how to get there, know when you have gotten there, and then you have to take action. This is also a process and must be followed in order. Most unsuccessful people either leave a step out, or break the sequence, or just get stuck at one step. There are some people who are very meticulous about planning where to go, how to go, and when to go, the only problem is that they forget the last step, to go. Others just act first. They jump on the train, and usually end up further away from where they wanted to be then when they started. I just happen to be one of those interminable planners, and I have to learn to remember the last step, to take action.
The second of the three habits that makes up the private victory: Begin with the End in Mind, helped me figure out which perspective I view things through. Although I thought my perspective was fairly flexible, varying with the subject or situation, it was still limited and too narrow when compared to someone successful. Success requires a great deal of flexibility and a minimal amount of limiting beliefs. One key belief that most successful individuals have is that there is no failure, only feedback. That is a very unlimiting belief to have; yet it requires a person with a purposeful outcome, a well-calibrated acuity, and high flexibility to incorporate such a belief. Such a belief also helps expand the circle of influence. Covey's concept of writing a personal mission statement made a lot of sense to me. Writing today allows more flexibility than it ever has before. In past times written words meant a lot more commitment, whereas today one can easily flip a pencil over and erase, or even easier push the backspace key. I now understand that if I write something down, I can just as easily change my mind about it, and it is okay.
The third habit, which is the final step in gaining a private victory and being at the state of independency, is: Put First Things First. Many people remain consistently with some task or another. The amount of energy they put in throughout the day would traditionally seem as the habits guaranteeing success, yet that is not always the case. The successful person is also busy, however he compartmentalizes the activities of the day into urgent and not urgent, and important and not important. He places more importance on the not urgent activities that most unsuccessful people keep putting off, which results in their misfortune. Success lies not in only doing those important and not urgent things, but just by simply doing them now rather than waiting till some available time comes up. Successful people make the time for these activities. Volcanic eruptions are a result of time and pressure. Imagine how fewer eruptions would occur if the pressure were released slowly over time rather than build up to a point where there is only one way out. Successful people never blow their top because they have taken the time to do those little things.
Habit four is one that I have always believed in. Think Win/Win, a concept, which I have noticed, that does not really exist here in the west. Everything is a zero-sum or win/lose game. If I win, then everyone else must loose. The whole economic infrastructure of this country as well as any societal expectations demonstrates the truth of this matter. The perspective of the successful person is that everything should win/win or no deal at this time. This is the best possible way to conduct any sort of negotiation. This way no one is forced to think only win/win. Although that is the desired outcome, if that is not possible at that time, then all parties should agree that it is better to try at a later time when a win/win outcome is a more feasible for all the involved parties.
Perceptual positions are the perspectives that a person takes in any given situation. The positions are first, second, and third. The first position is what one sees from their own perspective, the second position is from the other person, and the third is from a disassociated outsider's perspective. Habit five: Seek First To Understand, Then To Be Understood, encompasses this notion. Success follows the person who is the most flexible. When a person gets stuck in any of these perceptual positions, he then becomes limited, while the person who can perceive a situation from his own perspective as well as from the other two, undoubtedly has more resources. The reason shifting perceptual positions works so well is because it allows one to become detached from his emotions and his ego. Emotions and the ego are not bad in themselves, but the person who is its master rather than its servant, is the one who achieves success. Successful people know how to harness the power and force of their emotions, and they use this as motivation to do what it takes to get it done. They know when to sympathize and empathize, and when to remain emotion-free. Successful people use their emotions and their ego purposefully and with calculated precision. They do not let their egos consume them, and speak or act uncontrollably in order to show others what they know. Therefore the person who takes the time to understand, and takes into account all the positions; he can only then begin to formulate ideas. When one has totally understood himself then he can begin communicating in a manner in which others can understand him. "The meaning of communication is the response you get," is an excellent presupposition to live by. This means that the response you get is what was actually communicated. So if a person is very flexible, then he can change his style of communication until he gets the desired response. This is a key factor to success. To be successful, a person must take responsibility for all that is possible. That does not mean the blame. The word "blame" implies a fault and a sense of accusation. It is too emotionally loaded. Successful people take it upon themselves to find alternative ways to communicate their ideas rather than saying, "Oh you just don't understand," or "You're just not listening." As I continue to adopt these ideas, I am beginning to understand how success fosters success. The habits have to be incorporated in sequence because you have to be proactive enough to take the first step of being proactive and that already requires some flexibility. Therefore the habits are already within us, it is just matter of tapping into them.
The sixth habit: Synergize, simply means that the whole is greater than the sum of its parts. This habit helped me understand that everything has a purpose and serves as learning potential. This is the last habit to integrate in order to gain public victory and achieve a state of interdependence. Synergy can be seen almost anywhere: a classroom, a meeting room, or even in the most basic objects such as a bed or a chair. The point is that the parts are initially put together to come up with one thing, whether it be an object such as a chair or a decision to do something, yet there is potential for a lot more than just the desired outcome. A chair's prime function is to be sat upon, yet it can be used as a blockade, a ride (if it spins or has wheels), or even a weapon. So it is possible to see how, even though the maker might have had one function in mind, anyone can assign more meaning to it. The whole is much greater than the mere parts. There have also been many great ideas and decisions as a result of a synergistic experience. In a group of people where there is synergy, the people are in total rapport with one another. Everyone is tuned into the same channel. A thought can begin with one person and end with another, all in one harmonious act. Synergy works when people begin to value their differences. If they get caught up in that "I'm right, you're wrong" loop, then synergy will not exist. It is when a person says, "Oh, I understand and... so on and so on," that synergy can take place. The word "and" is a key word. It means, "I understand what you mean but what I think is," in a non-abrasive way. Although the first person's intention might not be to negate the other person, yet when he objects or disagrees using the word "but," the other person might feel that the remark reflects upon himself rather than just his idea, and at that point rapport has been lost, therefore reducing synergy. A successful person matches and mirrors people verbally and non-verbally to gain rapport. This allows synergy to take place.
The final habit: Sharpen The Saw, discusses how to take care of the most valuable asset a person has--himself. It describes how the four natures: physical, socio-emotional, mental, and spiritual, have to be in complete balance at all times. All the other habits help a person progress and succeed; yet if a person does not have these four natures balanced, he is harming his survival. The physical nature is concerned with proper exercise, nutrition, and stress management. A person has to be physically able to do the things he needs to in order to succeed. The second nature, socio-emotional, is concerned with service, empathy, synergy, and intrinsic securities. It is how to survive in the environment. The third nature, mental, is concerned with reading, visualizing, planning, and writing. A person must be mentally able to do the things he needs to in order to succeed. The fourth and final nature of spirituality deals with value clarification and commitment, study and meditation. A successful person has to have good morals and a strong commitment to his beliefs. Only with these complimentary natures in total balance will one succeed.
This book helped me discover how much I have achieved, and also how much more work there is to do. It allowed me to see in what state I am stuck, and in what direction I need to follow in order to get unstuck. This paper helped me clarify some of those ideas. And as I finish this paper I hope that one day I will integrate all seven of these steps that make a successful person at an unconscious level.
And around the same time I was taking my NLP Practitioner training, so I integrated some of those principles into my paper. I was hoping for more extra credit since I was showing off. But as it happened, he didn't even read the papers. If we turned something in, we got the extra credit. Well I wasn't going to complain; every point was a godsend.
So I decided to share it here, a decade later. Enjoy!
P.S. Oh and short paragraphs and breaks in between were a foreign concept to me at the time.
"The Integration of the Seven Habits Of Highly Effective People"
I began to read this book in a manner that is still rather new to me. A book does not simply contain a collection of ideas put into words, but rather serves as a reflection of the author's character, perspective, and efforts. There is no such thing as a mere book, whether it be fiction or non-fiction; a book gives us a brief look into another man's vision and the rest is up to us; there is no doubt that any person will end a book with more than he began with, but the question is to what extent. Stephen Covey reviewed the success literature from the past 200 years, and ended up with far more than he began with, and the fruits of his labor are documented in his best seller The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People. Covey broke all his work down in to two main parts, private victory and public victory, which takes an individual through the three states of the evolution process: dependency, independency, and interdependency. The reason this is a process is because one cannot just leap into one of these states, instead he must work through each state, until, not only is he ready to move on, but also has reached a threshold point where remaining in that state does more harm than not. Also working through the states builds needed momentum, which enables one to proceed through the process. For example one cannot reach financial independence, before having understood the dependence of a source of income, and cannot move beyond that point, until he understands that independence alone, only results in isolation, and to gain freedom from that he must reach the state of interdependence, where he is interacting with everyone at all levels, from depending on to being dependent upon; this is the nature of interdependence. Amazingly enough the book actually helps you change as you read along, and it also helps you envision the possible outcomes that might result from the chapters to follow.
As I began to read habit one: Be Proactive, I thought to myself, "what does that mean to me? Am I proactive? How exactly do I define and measure that?" After asking myself a few questions I read the chapter. Surprisingly enough, I ended the chapter with more questions than I began with, and from that moment I knew that this book was not going to give me the answers to my questions, but rather help me discover the appropriate questions to ask, to which I would have to come up with the answers myself. I began to understand that any train you jump onto will get you away from here, if that is all you want, but to really get somewhere you have to decide where you want to go, plan on how to get there, know when you have gotten there, and then you have to take action. This is also a process and must be followed in order. Most unsuccessful people either leave a step out, or break the sequence, or just get stuck at one step. There are some people who are very meticulous about planning where to go, how to go, and when to go, the only problem is that they forget the last step, to go. Others just act first. They jump on the train, and usually end up further away from where they wanted to be then when they started. I just happen to be one of those interminable planners, and I have to learn to remember the last step, to take action.
The second of the three habits that makes up the private victory: Begin with the End in Mind, helped me figure out which perspective I view things through. Although I thought my perspective was fairly flexible, varying with the subject or situation, it was still limited and too narrow when compared to someone successful. Success requires a great deal of flexibility and a minimal amount of limiting beliefs. One key belief that most successful individuals have is that there is no failure, only feedback. That is a very unlimiting belief to have; yet it requires a person with a purposeful outcome, a well-calibrated acuity, and high flexibility to incorporate such a belief. Such a belief also helps expand the circle of influence. Covey's concept of writing a personal mission statement made a lot of sense to me. Writing today allows more flexibility than it ever has before. In past times written words meant a lot more commitment, whereas today one can easily flip a pencil over and erase, or even easier push the backspace key. I now understand that if I write something down, I can just as easily change my mind about it, and it is okay.
The third habit, which is the final step in gaining a private victory and being at the state of independency, is: Put First Things First. Many people remain consistently with some task or another. The amount of energy they put in throughout the day would traditionally seem as the habits guaranteeing success, yet that is not always the case. The successful person is also busy, however he compartmentalizes the activities of the day into urgent and not urgent, and important and not important. He places more importance on the not urgent activities that most unsuccessful people keep putting off, which results in their misfortune. Success lies not in only doing those important and not urgent things, but just by simply doing them now rather than waiting till some available time comes up. Successful people make the time for these activities. Volcanic eruptions are a result of time and pressure. Imagine how fewer eruptions would occur if the pressure were released slowly over time rather than build up to a point where there is only one way out. Successful people never blow their top because they have taken the time to do those little things.
Habit four is one that I have always believed in. Think Win/Win, a concept, which I have noticed, that does not really exist here in the west. Everything is a zero-sum or win/lose game. If I win, then everyone else must loose. The whole economic infrastructure of this country as well as any societal expectations demonstrates the truth of this matter. The perspective of the successful person is that everything should win/win or no deal at this time. This is the best possible way to conduct any sort of negotiation. This way no one is forced to think only win/win. Although that is the desired outcome, if that is not possible at that time, then all parties should agree that it is better to try at a later time when a win/win outcome is a more feasible for all the involved parties.
Perceptual positions are the perspectives that a person takes in any given situation. The positions are first, second, and third. The first position is what one sees from their own perspective, the second position is from the other person, and the third is from a disassociated outsider's perspective. Habit five: Seek First To Understand, Then To Be Understood, encompasses this notion. Success follows the person who is the most flexible. When a person gets stuck in any of these perceptual positions, he then becomes limited, while the person who can perceive a situation from his own perspective as well as from the other two, undoubtedly has more resources. The reason shifting perceptual positions works so well is because it allows one to become detached from his emotions and his ego. Emotions and the ego are not bad in themselves, but the person who is its master rather than its servant, is the one who achieves success. Successful people know how to harness the power and force of their emotions, and they use this as motivation to do what it takes to get it done. They know when to sympathize and empathize, and when to remain emotion-free. Successful people use their emotions and their ego purposefully and with calculated precision. They do not let their egos consume them, and speak or act uncontrollably in order to show others what they know. Therefore the person who takes the time to understand, and takes into account all the positions; he can only then begin to formulate ideas. When one has totally understood himself then he can begin communicating in a manner in which others can understand him. "The meaning of communication is the response you get," is an excellent presupposition to live by. This means that the response you get is what was actually communicated. So if a person is very flexible, then he can change his style of communication until he gets the desired response. This is a key factor to success. To be successful, a person must take responsibility for all that is possible. That does not mean the blame. The word "blame" implies a fault and a sense of accusation. It is too emotionally loaded. Successful people take it upon themselves to find alternative ways to communicate their ideas rather than saying, "Oh you just don't understand," or "You're just not listening." As I continue to adopt these ideas, I am beginning to understand how success fosters success. The habits have to be incorporated in sequence because you have to be proactive enough to take the first step of being proactive and that already requires some flexibility. Therefore the habits are already within us, it is just matter of tapping into them.
The sixth habit: Synergize, simply means that the whole is greater than the sum of its parts. This habit helped me understand that everything has a purpose and serves as learning potential. This is the last habit to integrate in order to gain public victory and achieve a state of interdependence. Synergy can be seen almost anywhere: a classroom, a meeting room, or even in the most basic objects such as a bed or a chair. The point is that the parts are initially put together to come up with one thing, whether it be an object such as a chair or a decision to do something, yet there is potential for a lot more than just the desired outcome. A chair's prime function is to be sat upon, yet it can be used as a blockade, a ride (if it spins or has wheels), or even a weapon. So it is possible to see how, even though the maker might have had one function in mind, anyone can assign more meaning to it. The whole is much greater than the mere parts. There have also been many great ideas and decisions as a result of a synergistic experience. In a group of people where there is synergy, the people are in total rapport with one another. Everyone is tuned into the same channel. A thought can begin with one person and end with another, all in one harmonious act. Synergy works when people begin to value their differences. If they get caught up in that "I'm right, you're wrong" loop, then synergy will not exist. It is when a person says, "Oh, I understand and... so on and so on," that synergy can take place. The word "and" is a key word. It means, "I understand what you mean but what I think is," in a non-abrasive way. Although the first person's intention might not be to negate the other person, yet when he objects or disagrees using the word "but," the other person might feel that the remark reflects upon himself rather than just his idea, and at that point rapport has been lost, therefore reducing synergy. A successful person matches and mirrors people verbally and non-verbally to gain rapport. This allows synergy to take place.
The final habit: Sharpen The Saw, discusses how to take care of the most valuable asset a person has--himself. It describes how the four natures: physical, socio-emotional, mental, and spiritual, have to be in complete balance at all times. All the other habits help a person progress and succeed; yet if a person does not have these four natures balanced, he is harming his survival. The physical nature is concerned with proper exercise, nutrition, and stress management. A person has to be physically able to do the things he needs to in order to succeed. The second nature, socio-emotional, is concerned with service, empathy, synergy, and intrinsic securities. It is how to survive in the environment. The third nature, mental, is concerned with reading, visualizing, planning, and writing. A person must be mentally able to do the things he needs to in order to succeed. The fourth and final nature of spirituality deals with value clarification and commitment, study and meditation. A successful person has to have good morals and a strong commitment to his beliefs. Only with these complimentary natures in total balance will one succeed.
This book helped me discover how much I have achieved, and also how much more work there is to do. It allowed me to see in what state I am stuck, and in what direction I need to follow in order to get unstuck. This paper helped me clarify some of those ideas. And as I finish this paper I hope that one day I will integrate all seven of these steps that make a successful person at an unconscious level.
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