Choosing to Respond Instead of Reacting
Q: I recently started dating a girlfriend again (we used to date before, broke up but decided things went too crazy so we're going to try it again). One of the problems we had before, and since we've gotten back together, it still happens - is she can be a very negative person. If we go out and have a good night, like last night we went to a hockey game and out to eat afterwards, she always finds something to critique about the game, dinner, etc. Maybe it's me and my own issue or insecurity but I feel like nothing we could do or anything I could say or do will be good enough - it feels like perfection is all that she'll accept, even though no one or no situation is. Any ideas on what I can do? Other than this issue, she is a good person and someone I could see marrying but this one thing really bothers me. There doesn't seem to be a trigger for it and I'm not sure if she's aware she's doing it... Can I do something about this with NLP?--Anonymous
A: Well the most obvious first step would be to ask her if she is aware of what she is saying and if she knows how that is making you feel. From an NLP perspective, I would ask you, is her behavior the problem or is your reaction to her behavior the problem. With NLP tools, you can alter your reaction to her behavior. This way whether the trigger is there or not, you have a choice as to how you would like to respond.
-Oz
posted by Oz @
Thursday, August 03, 2006
1 comments
1 Comments:
E + R = O
Event + Response = Outcome
Change the response, change the outcome.
Post a Comment
