Consciously Practicing
Q: I did a NLP course and use what I learned every day! Until it gets personal. I met a man, we get on and there is a possibility of something solid. We are both independent and he has other people in his life. He leaves for 10 days away shortly, he is hesitating as to whether to see me again when he returns, it's a 70% in favor of it! I have an email to respond to of his in which I would like to be able to get him to ring me before he leaves. And how can I without making an issue of it, in that call, get him to agree it would be madness not to even try to see where it takes us.--Anonymous
A: Quite often, people will learn certain skills and consciously practice them...until they are around close friends and family. It is much easier to get sucked into the drama at that point. And the conscious attention shifts back to automatic pilot.
I don't have enough information to give you a how. The best thing to do is to pay attention to what your previous strategy has been, and choose to do something else. You might also want to consider what will happen if you don't get to give it another chance. Use the tools of NLP that you have learned to clean up negative feelings that this possibility triggers in you. When you have two people involved, that means two decisions, and two choosers. Are both of you choosing freely or are either of you taking the other's free will away? In relationships, the earlier and cleaner the boundaries are, the healthier the relationship will be.
-Oz
